Random Thoughts with Nicole L. Turner

Random Thoughts with Nicole L. Turner header image 1
August 14, 2019  

Half Love is not Healthy

August 14, 2019

The only thing worse than loving someone who doesn't love you is loving someone who loves you, but doesn't know how to show you love. 

You stay and wait because you see potential, you see what’s inside, you see what could be once you shatter all the walls so they can let you in. But they won’t let you in because they don’t have room for you, they won’t let you in because that means they have to share the deepest parts of themselves and that’s not something they know how to do. When you love someone who doesn’t know how to love, you eventually forget what love is or how it feels, you begin to love poorly, selfishly, you become stingy with your heart.  When you fall for someone who doesn’t know how to love, you forget that someone out there knows how, you forget that you could find someone who reinforces everything you believe about love instead of challenging it and you forget that someone out there wants to love you — not break you.

Signs of a healthy relationship. 

  • You admire your partner for who he or she is as a person
  • Your partner is trustworthy
  • Your partner makes time for you on a regular basis
  • Your partner accepts responsibility for their actions
  • Your partner is your biggest cheerleader
  • You and your partner are on the same page in terms of your basic values and life goals
  • Your partner is affectionate
  • Your partner talks about your future together so you can create a shared vision of your relationship
  • You each keep your own identify within the relationship
  • You spend quality time together doing things that are mutually fulfilling as well as quality time apart doing what is important to you individually
  • You encourage each other to grow and change. In other words, you inspire each other to be a better person.
  • You and your partner feel safe communicating personal needs and wants
  • You respect each other's differences even if you disagree on important issues
  • You share realistic expectations for the relationship, not what you wish or fantasize it should be
  • Each of you contributes your fair share to the relationship, whatever that happens to be. Each partner brings their best strengths and abilities for the benefit of the “team."